there is no doubt about it - we love seeing our #bestof on social media.
it reminds and it reconnects us with people and place.
it is fun to look back over the year.
honestly, i loved reading the comments as much as seeing all the pictures in my feed. and the comments and reflections make it clear that those #bestof pics also raise questions for their owners.
did the the pictures best represent you? your year? what do they all have in common? what are you doing right? or wrong? is there a right and a wrong?
did those pics show what you wanted them to? did they look like they belonged in your feed? did they fit the memory you have of your year?
did people like what you wanted them to like the most?
admittedly, many of those questions didn't come up for me at the time, but they do make me think now.
where to next?
pieces of 2018 - detail, patinated brass
the holiday season is a difficult time. we put a lot of expectations around this time of year. it can be very lonely, full of life and parties, or an inexplicably painful mix of both - a season of indulgence. the highest highs and the lowest lows.
and all that emotion, leads us straight into the new year.
into the time of the resolution.
i know the word "resolution" isn't exactly fashionable. too much negativity and failure is associated with the word. there is even the "ditch your resolutions day" celebrated on January 17th...although some studies say most people will give up their resolutions by the 2nd Friday in January - this year, that fateful day is the 11th.
today is the 10th.
pieces of 2018 - detail, "Flaxen" necklace
regardless of what seems assuredly to lead to failure, i find myself reflecting on the last year and looking forward to the year to come. whether you do this in January or October, checking in, reflecting back, and looking forward to set goals is how we change and grow.
i love this insta post from the @thedolectures and with this in mind i believe it is time to set some intentional goals in both my family and business life. and by cleverly avoiding the "r" word i look at these goals, these intentions, as opportunities to add mindful practices into my life rather than strip myself of an indulgence.
intentional goal setting is a process for me. one that means constantly revisiting and checking back in with myself and my intentions. part of that means knowing my truths. knowing the reasons i will use to allow myself to not succeed.
pieces of 2018 - detail, "Sunny" earring
i believe that this process is different for each of us but i'm going to lay out some of my truths, in case they help spark something for you in your goal setting.
1. i will look for any way out:do you know what i mean? it sounds something like any one of these:
- my kid is sick and nobody in the house slept last night - so i'll start tomorrow;
- what can go wrong, will go wrong. the world is against me today - i'll come at it tomorrow with a fresh outlook;
- or perhaps the best one - its Friday. Monday is better for fresh starts.
there are so many excuses, i haven't even dreamt most of them up yet.
2. go complicated or go home:
- the harder it is to put a goal into a simple sentence, the easier it is to give up.
- if it is too complicated from the get go then you can't figure out what steps you need to take to get there.
perfect if your goal is to fail by the 2nd Friday in January!
3. i am harder on myself than on anyone else:
if you are like this - you understand.
- it is everything from worrying about things you can't possibly need to worry about to trying to control things that you cannot possibly control.
- setting goals on an unattainable timeline just because "you're smart and capable and can figure it out if you try hard enough" sets an impossible standard that i can't actually meet.
4. i look to comfort over anything else:
- i actually don't have a problem with comfort on the whole. i think that part of self care has to be comfort but that still has to be within the scope of your goal.
- too easily comfort can mean avoiding fear and that means no change ...which usually ends up with having an excellent excuse disguised as needing comfort. as much as i hate to say it, binge watching Netflix all day is not self care.
pieces of 2018 - detail, "All that Glitters" bracelet clasp
setting my goals so i succeed (history has shown me) means that i need to look at my truths and get ahead of them. once that is done, i can get to getting them down on paper - and i can even use some of those truths to my advantage if i'm cleaver about it :)
structure my goals
the idea of a S.M.A.R.T goal is important for me.
- for this i simplify the goal to a sentence and this sentence has to include a "because".
- WHY am i setting this goal is as important as the goal itself. life changes and being militant about a goal won't help me achieve it.
- knowing the WHY helps me change and adjust the HOW, if i need to, while staying true to the goal itself.
- life changes and the WHY also lets me check in every now and then, to ensure that i am not blindly going towards a goal i am no longer interested in.
after the sentence is written, i work on the HOW.
- i often break this up into different areas of my life, or different methods and practices needed to achieve the goal.
- i know that i need strenuous physical activity and good, clean food as a base line. these form the foundation for a positive attitude, good sleep, and an active and creative mind...i also know that those are the first two things to go when the going gets tough.
- how i exercise my body and mind, how i interact with my family, how i spend (or don't spend) my time and money, how i play, how i relax, how many hours a day i spend outside, how much stuff i have (and don't have), my quality of sleep, and the people that are part of my life, are all important ingredients to an intentional life and i find that they reoccur in the structuring of my goals.
the last part of the structuring is through deadlines:
- i need deadlines AND practices that will work on the crappiest of days;
- the worst thing about being hard on myself means setting realistic deadlines can be a challenge;
- part of the best thing about it is that deadlines are important to me and i don't like missing them;
- if i am reasonable in setting the deadlines, i am very likely to achieve them.
practices are a vital part of this as well:
- these practices need to be comfortable but in line with the goal. that way, on the very worst day, i can throw them aside but i will come back to them naturally.
- i will look for these practices on the bad days, which in turn helps me get back to the good days.
pieces of 2018 - detail, hollow lampwork glass bead with copper filament
with the outline in place, i have to look for time effective ways to help me monitor and obtain my goals.
this year, i looked at what i have been doing and then i spent some time looking around at various suggestions. i have decided to work with a bullet journal and set an intentional morning (and evening) routine.
i've always had some version of both, but these are different and set up to be goal oriented.
i have kept a journal for years and have about 14 million to-do lists floating around but i have found that my new roles of entrepreneur and stay at home mom needs more structure to stay organized.
i looked around online at different bullet journal and 10x journal ideas. my version is a cross between a written journal, a bullet journal, a sketchbook, a to-do list, and a goal setting tool.
it isn't as complicated as it sounds - i promise - and i spent December doing a test run.
it has been a good way to add and take away different items and prompts so the journal reflects what i use it for and what i need to get from it. i also don't work too far ahead so that if the function and design needs to change, it can.
so far, it has been an excellent resource and i spend less time then when i was chasing around lists and journals and scraps of paper for my idea doodles, and then writing and re-writing to-do lists.
pieces of 2018 - lampwork glass marble
at worst my "morning routine" has always been dictated by my job, my commute, and my family members. at best, it is something that i "toy" with in the summer months in a hope to get ahead of the weeding.
i love this article by Benjamin Hardy on medium.com. it is part brutal honesty with a dash of things you probably already know *...but* - and it's an all around excellent source for ideas to get your morning started off right.
i can tell you right now that this isn't going to be a perfect scenario for me. i don't, at this point in my life, have an hour to devote to it, but being more conscious of a bedtime routine and getting up earlier to allow time for a comfortable, positive and energized morning routine (that is intentionally oriented towards my goal and not just about weeds) will be part of my success.
pieces of 2018 - detail, "Smoke" pendant
so what does all this have to do with social media?
my goals aren't based on having a #bestof2019 that i am 100% behind. but looking at the images from this year did spark big thoughts for me and made me ask where do i want to be this time next year?
and maybe that is what should be about.
a place to connect with people and big ideas that you might otherwise never come across. a place for creativity and inspirations.
the 9 worst performing photos from 2018 on instagram (@wildandwise_jewellery)
what do you need?
what if this was the year of intention?
what if this was the year we all made choices, with intention, that bettered our communities, our companies, the earth?
a year that we bettered ourselves?
a new year.
a new beginning.
the start of a new #bestof.
what do you want your year to look like?